The Last Lumberjack
Bucks mission brief
Axes fly first, hosted the whole way, with hot pizza landing mid-round before anyone's decided who the best shot actually is. From there it's straight into a reserved perch at our sports bar, pool cues up and the Buck working through a jug built for someone twice his size. Dinner lands next at our pub: burger, parmigiana or pizza, a drink of choice, and a second bonus beer for the Buck that nobody asked him if he wanted. The night closes at a gentlemen's club, the whole crew walking in on the house, doors open, the night still going. Four stops, one thread, and the only thing you had to organise was showing up.
Game Plan
$279.00 per person, based on 6 attendees.
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All of your package customisations will show up right here!The Last Lumberjack starts with steel in hand and doesn't let a single lull creep in for the rest of the night. Four stops, one crew, and an itinerary that was locked in long before anyone thought to ask what's actually happening today.
Nobody in this group is standing in a car park checking a screenshot of directions, and nobody's waiting on a reply about whether the next place can actually fit fourteen blokes. The plan already exists. All that's left is turning up in it.
It kicks off at our axe range, where a host talks the room through which end of the axe does the damage before anyone's allowed near a target. Once that's covered, the group's own competition gets underway, and it turns out throwing a blade in a straight line is a much rarer skill than anyone in this group assumed about themselves. Somebody's practice throw ends up two lanes over, in someone else's target, and becomes the group's favourite piece of evidence for the rest of the day. Midway through the carnage, pizza turns up hot enough to burn the roof of a few mouths, which nobody minds, because arguing about the scoreboard with your mouth full is somehow more satisfying than arguing about it normally.
From there it's straight to our sports bar, where the group's seats are already claimed and waiting, so there's no scanning the room for space with drinks in hand. Pool cues come out fast, and the trash talk that started on the axe range simply changes venue. The Buck gets handed a jug that looks like it was built for two grown men and a small dog, and is left to make his way through it solo while the group narrates his progress like it's a boxing weigh-in.
Next stop is dinner at our pub, and it's the kind that actually sorts the group out: burger, parmigiana or pizza, whichever the table's decided on by then, plus a drink each to go with it. The Buck's not off the hook here either. A second beer lands in front of him before the plates do, on the house, purely because the day's not done making an example of him yet.
Last stop is the gentlemen's club, and the group walks straight through the door on the house, no cover charge, no standing around working out who's paying for who. Whatever's happening inside stays exactly where it's happening, which is precisely the point of finishing the night here instead of somewhere with witnesses who'll remember it wrong.
And you? You were never the one holding the group together with a phone in one hand and a headcount in the other. You were in every round, every plate, every terrible throw, while the whole thing quietly ran itself around you. Somebody's going to ask how you pulled off four venues without a single dead patch in the night, and you don't actually have to answer that honestly.
This one only assembles once a day, axe range through to velvet rope, for one crew at a time, which is exactly why the good dates go before the group chat's finished arguing about pizza toppings. So check your date now, while today's still the one with your name on it.